Oh la la

Jenny and Me =]
We had fun.
There are more photos but i cant be bothered to put them up =]

random stuff about me.

These are the weird things about me.

In my wardrobe the hangers have to hang a certain way. The front of the shirt has to be pointing away from the left hand side of the wardrobe. and the hanger has to be pointing to the inside of the wardrobe. so when you look at the hanger with the shirt on it. its the front of the shirt, with the hangy bit pointing to the right. it just annoys me otherwise.

And things on the shelves have to be pointing the right way too. and if the poster has one corner coming off the wall i HAVE to sort it out. other wise i wont be able to sleep.

when i study i MUST have a clean table. things cant be on the table.

on my sink...the things on the sink HAVE to be put in the same place everytime. and when my mum cleans my bathroom she moves them. so i spend 10minutes putting thm the right way. i get so angry i yell about it. its just ANNOYING.

also. the shower curtain has to be pulled back a certain way. and the shower head thing has to be at a certain height and pointing in a certain direction.

the bath matt has to be straight against the wall.

the wardrobe door has to be closed or i cannot sleep.

i have a certain way oh eating lasange. its on my plate right in a rectangle. i have to cut it down, then across to make separate squares. then i eat each square AFTER its all cut up. and i go round the recatngle eatingt the edges first, then the middle.

i like apples, but i hate apple juice, i hate oranges (the texture freaks me out) but love orange juice (only if it doesnt have bits in it.) the texture. it freaks me out. i just hate the feel of it in my mouth. i hate things that have a weird texture.

like berries. i hate berries. love the taste of them. but hate the feel so i hate eating them.

and YOGURT! what is the DEAL! it should be SMOOTH!! not full of lumps of fruit. unless you PUT them their yourself!

i HATE fruit cakes. i hATE HATE HATE HATE IT. its the WORST. ITS JUST GROSS. and BLERGH. christmas cake it basically one big glorified fruit cake. you add alcohol to it basically and its just EW EW EW. ts too rich and gross.

back to yogurt. it should be smooth and lump free.

Things can be messy, but not dirty. And they have to be messy in a certain way.

In a shop if something is meant to be in one place, but is not in the right place, i have to move it. but only when its close to that place..not like say...an aisel away lol.

If i start thinking of something, like for instance 'that guy looks like this guy' but i cant think of who that guy is...it will bugg me untill i figure out who his lookalike is. For instance...on tv yesterday there was an advert.The guy looked slighty like Ricky Martin. But i couldnt remember Ricky Martins name. I sat there for 10 minutes trying to think of it. It pissed me off so much i had to look online.

There are more. I just cant think of them.

Jen&Me went one utama. We tried on loads of crap. Sexy tops =]

Highlight of my week. apart from seeing Georgi and Aiden on thursday...but then they had to leave =[ sucks...but it happens. and i should see them again in the summer!!

So jen and me had lots of fun. Heres the pictures!

I cant upload them. it wont work.

The Truth

I've realised its time to tell the truth about everything. And my own words don't express it...so im going to use the help of many artists....i cant help feeling like this. And know, that no matter what I do love you all. A lot.

I'm going to write a line from a song that at some point has meant, or still means, something to me. Then i will explain why. Simple as that.

"Take me back to the start." - because sometimes i wish i could just go back to the beginning and change it all. the start was when Raf died, i think. I'm not honestly sure. But i guess its just a mixture of everything. and thats the only moment i can pin-point as hitting me so hard i fell over and didnt stop falling completely.

"Nobody said it was easy. But nobody said it would be this hard." - Its true. Nobody said it was going to be easy living, but nobody ever said it would be hard. I guess life is always going to be a mixture of easy and hard and theres nothing you can do to stop that. But sometimes i just wish it could be easier. Because it always seems to be hard.

"I'll keep on rolling down this road."- I never realised that I wasn't exactly happy. Hence why I kept 'rolling down the road'. enough said.

"I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow." – One day I would be happy. The next I wouldn’t. And that still happens. Except it can now sometimes be like...ill wake up feeling rubbish…and 2 hours later im laughing. Maybe its just mood swings, but this happens even when im not PMS…

“That’s not how I used to be.” – In the last few years life has changed as we have grown older, and its nothing like it used to be.

“Everythings changing when I turn around, all out of my control. I’m a mobile.” – Everything does seem to change, its like one minute it’s a certain way, the next its completely different, and I hate not being able to control that.

“Its always been up to you. Its turning around its up to me. I’m gonna do what I have to do…I just don’t” - I used to think it was up to everyone else to make me happy and change. But now I know its up to me…and I know what I have to do. I just don’t…because I can’t.

“Maybe I should be the one behind the wheel.”- I often think I need to stop doing what im doing, that I should be the one in control. But it’s always, in my head, the ‘maybe’ factor. Like I know I should be in control, but I just can’t quite reach the wheel.

“I’m not ready. Maybe tomorrow.” – Simple as that. I’m not ready to change, but I am, so maybe I’ll do it tomorrow. Or it can be…I can’t be bothered to day…maybe tomorrow. Or sometimes its just as simple as I can’t be bothered to do ANYTHING.

“I want to believe you when you tell me that it’ll be ok.” – People always say it will be ok. But I just can’t believe it properly.

“Stuck inside a broken life I can’t wish away.” – I used to think if I just forgot about how rubbish I felt It would just go away. At night I would wish that tomorrow I would wake up not thinking I was disgusting and horrible and be able to look in the mirror and see me, rather than a version of me I seemed to have invented. But that doesn’t work.

“Somebody listen please.” – I often feel like no one understands or listens. Even though I KNOW that’s not true, I still sometimes feel like that and I cannot explain why.

“Always second best.” – Sometimes it would just be nice to be the best at something.

“There’s so much more to me you haven’t seen.” – A lot of people KNOW me, but not all of them know ALL of me. I don’t know all of me. And there’s a lot of me still hiding.

“It’s not hard to fall when you float like a cannonball.” – Once you start feeling a certain way it’s not hard to come crashing down. And drinking etc does not help, your floating like a cannonball almost, in a vulnerable situation that you have to fall down from, and you fall fast because so much is weighing you down.

““Bad news on the doorstep, I couldn’t take one more step.” – You know when you can tell something bad is going to happen, and you wish you could stay out of it…but know you shouldn’t and can’t? Yea…life is like that sometimes. I can tell when a day is going to be rubbish for me and I can’t take another step into that day…but I force myself to.

““Suddenly I know I’m not sleeping. Hello, I’m still here, all that’s left of yesterday.” – The old me is still here, a bit of every old me is still here too. I’m not sleeping, and I know I’m still there I just sometimes need a boost, and a reason to ‘unleash’ (lol) me…whatever. You know what I mean…I hope…

““It’s sad to hope.” – Hoping won’t do anything. I tried praying and there’s now a definite reason I don’t believe because it didn’t work. Sounds harsh but that’s me. Hoping won’t do anything, you have to DO something.

““Here’s the day you hoped would never come.” – You see the signs…yet you ignore it and hope it will go away. Then one day you realise…and that’s the day you hoped would never come.

““I’ve watched you slowly winding down for years; you can’t keep on like this.” – I can’t keep on like this. And I have been slowly winding down, not for years, but I have. So this line is pretty straight forward. I can’t keep on like this because eventually I will lose myself.

““I still remember how that music used to make me smile.” – Music used to make me smile, now I use music to relate to my own feelings. Like how im using it now…lol…

““Do you believe in Rock ‘n’ Roll, can music save you’re mortal soul?” – Music helps me through the day. If im not feeling great I’ll listen to music until I find the one song to depict my mood and emotions…then I feel a bit better.

““The world tilts back and poison pours and pours.” – I’m not entirely sure how to explain this line. But it always seem as though every time something good happens, something bad happens. Or whenever the world, and the leaders, attempt to do something good something terrible happens as well, hence the poison.

““The kids of tomorrow don’t need today when they live in the sins of yesterday.” – This just hits home because, to me, it means that the next generation doesn’t need more of the crap that happens today when its already got the stuff that happened yesterday. Like the wars, the next generation still has effects of the first 2, so it does not need today’s wars.

““I was born too late into a world that doesn’t care.” – The world really doesn’t seem to care. People don’t seem to care about each other, let alone THEMSELVES. The years, decades, before this just looked so much simpler…to a certain extent.

““Yea, you were right about me.” – Well…this is pretty much self-explanatory. But generally, my FRIENDS are right about me. If you don’t know me, then you weren’t right. This is about rumour’s that fly…and the way people always seem to make stuff up about other people (not just about me…but the way people are in general). Its ridiculous how people are these days, and only your FRIENDS know you and know how you’re feeling.

““Give me the truth, even if it hurts me.” – Yes, the truth hurts. Get over it. Quite frankly, if you want to tell me something tell it to my face. Don’t talk behind my back. =)

““Don’t feed me violence just run with me through rows of speeding cars.” – I don’t need rubbish from people. But from some people I like a little bit of adventure. It makes sense to me…lol

““This signal interrupts, maybe it’s frequencies not strong enough.” – I always think ‘I can’t do that, I won’t do that’ but I always do. Because the thoughts in my head saying ‘no’ are not strong enough.

““So come on courage, teach me to be shy.” – I wish that when I’m drinking a bit I could be slightly more shy. Enough said…lol.

““I’d die for you one time, but never again.” – This is for me. My personality kind of died for a while, and still isn’t back. I changed a lot and lost me, I died inside. So I will die one time, but I don’t plan to do it again. I hope you understand that.

““It’s not hard to grow when you know that you just don’t know.” – There are somethings in life I know I will never understand or know about truly. Therefore I just have to carry on, and grow.

““Stones taught me to fly, love taught me to lie, life taught me to die.” – I don’t quite get why this means something to me. But it does. I guess it just means you learn from different things. And life does teach you to die, if you look at it in the right way. You should be happy you have lived and therefore be almost ready for it to end. Love taught me to lie, I have never been in love as such…but I have lied about relationships and it teaches you that I suppose.

““I know you think it’s more than bad luck.” – In my mind there is no such thing as luck. You don’t get lucky, you just work towards something. Therefore you can’t get bad luck. Some things just SUCK. So, it’s MORE than bad luck.

““Has no one told you she’s not breathing?” – Sometimes I feel as though no one sees me. Like I’m invisible almost. Even though I know people do notice. But sometimes you don’t want them to…

““If I smile and don’t believe, soon I know I’ll wake from this dream.” – If I smile and ignore, and stop believing, all the nasty comments in my head I think maybe ill wake up and they will go away.

““Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken.” – I’m not broken into pieces, no matter how some days I feel like I am, I’m just unhappy a lot. That doesn’t mean there’s anything WRONG with me. I’m not unhappy all the time either.

““Hello, I’m the lie living for you so you can hide.” – For the days when I am just acting, and pretending, a lie living for me so I can hide inside.

““All that’s left has gone away.” – Some days I just feel like there is nothing left. And I can’t be bothered to live. It’s not a suicidal thing….it’s just I can’t be bothered with it all. I just want to sit there and feel NOTHING.

““Hard to be sure.” – Its hard to be sure on anything anymore. Will I be here tomorrow? Will I still have friends tomorrow? Next week, will the world change again? How did we get here? There are always going to be questions and I will always ask them. But no one will EVER have a sure and true answer for half those questions.

““Take my photo off the wall if it just won’t sing for you.” – If you don’t like someone, tell them. Simple as that.

““Give me back my point of view.” – There are days when I feel like the world is just listening to select few and there are a lot of people out there who need to stand up for themselves and what THEY believe rather than following others.

““I don’t want to follow the leader.” – I want to follow ME. I don’t see why someone else is more important than you. They may be older, a teacher, a parent, a guardian, you’re boss. But that doesn’t mean you can’t stand up for yourself.

““Whats the use? What’s the point? You got the wrong girl.” – There is no point pretending to be someone you’re not because that group of people is ‘cooler’ than the others. Who cares? THEY ARE NOT COOL. They are lame and have sticks up there arses. They are not real friends. I have met people like this…is better to hang out with the real friends…trust me, THEY are the cooler crowd. The others suck.

““They encourage all complete cooperation, send you roses when they think you need to smile.” – They always ask you to follow, and if you don’t act, dress, speak and look a certain way you are not right. Yet when you are the ones who don’t ‘cooperate’ they suck up to you…but only when they need something.

““Give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff. I gave them all that they could drink and it will never be enough.” – You can always give give give,but somehow no matter that you do it will never be enough for certain people. Some people are never satisfied.

““Cause I'm sick of being treated like I have before, like it's stupid standing for what I'm standing for.” – I’ve found through my short life that when you have an opinion certain people will tell you its stupid. No opinion is stupid. Everyone is entitled to there own. And it pisses me off when people tell you your opinion is wrong.

““Risk something, say something that you know they might attack you for.” – Not exactly say something someone will attack you for. But the message is don’t just follow all you’re told. People may not like you when you voice your mind but you have every right to. Take the friggin’ risk.

““There's bombs in the buses, bikes, roads, inside your market, your shops, your clothes” – I am scared constantly. It’s why I don’t watch the news. I am much better off not knowing all the bad things in the world. I would rather look at the beautiful things. Sounds bad because that means I won’t know everything going on in the world. But sometimes you’re better off NOT knowing.

“When the rich wage war it's the poor who die” – It’s sad. But when a country goes to war, its always the people of the country who die, not the people who caused the war. Not that anyone really causes the war. But political nationwide fights can end in death…just look now.

“In any other world.” – Maybe it would be different. Maybe it won’t be. But we “can’t be sure”.

“You’re head is humming and it won’t go.” – All these thoughts stay in my mind and they won’t go.

“Sometimes words have two meanings.” – Everything has 2 sides. So sometimes when in a fight you have to look at both sides of the fight before making the decision. Be logical, take a chance…and don’t jump to conclusions. Like I did.

“I had to give up my defenses.” – Sometimes you have to admit you’re wrong. And that’s one of the hardest things in the world to do. And sometimes the only way to bring yourself back is to break down the tiny pieces that are eating you up, break down those defenses…then build new ones. I’m trying that.

“It was a lie when they smiled and said you won’t feel a thing.” – I, of all people, should know that things hurt. I’ve realized everyone reacts to things differently so no one can really tell you how you are going to feel when you receive, see, hear or give something. We are all different. And there will never be a moment where you won’t feel ANYTHING.

“I can’t control myself I don’t know how.” – Its even harder to change when you just don’t know how. And you have to cut something out because you cant control the amount ain’t right.

“Slip inside the eye of your mind. Don’t you know you might find a better place to play.” – Sometimes you have to look a little deeper than the surface and you will see something so much better than the first glance. Instead of looking, you have to SEE…and what you get might be better than before. Same with yourself. I’ve found everyday I have to look deeper inside me to find ME.

“One night to you, lasted 6 weeks to me.” – Girls linger on things. Get over it. I hate it. But when I make a mistake I linger over things and it won’t go away.

“You chose those words effectively.” – People tend to do that. To say things they don’t mean. Get used to it. I do it. YOU do it. EVERYONE does it, so get over it.

“Happy now? Now that you’ve had me and I’m on my own, all alone.” – Yes, I’m not alone. But the principle of this is still there. To any guy who’s used me…just…lol at you. Lol.

“You’ll never change what’s been and gone.” – I tend to dwell on the past, instead of the concentrating on the future and now. It drags me down. Don’t let it drag you too.

“Don’t look back in anger.” – Just don’t…it will only make you self hate. It will make you more angry about the present. I’m far more a angry person now because of what I know about the past than I was before.

“I don’t want love to destroy me.” – Love can break you apart, or it can put you together. I don’t want it to destroy me like it has some people around me.

“I peek out from behind these walls and I think nobody knows.” – I always think nobody knows how I feel, that nobody understands. I glance out trying to hide.

“Lets play pretend and act like it comes naturally.” – Sometimes I wish it were that easy with family and life.

“Do you notice I’m gone?” – Sometimes I feel like nobody notices a thing. And would they even notice if I weren’t here. I know they would…but sometimes I feel like that.

“I wish I was special, but I’m a creep.” – Self explanatory. Just sometimes how people feel. Cant help that. You look around you in the magazines and you see these people with the ‘perfect’ bodies and faces and lives and you think why can’t I be like that? I started seeing myself as fat and ugly…and it’s hard to get those thoughts away.

“I want to have control. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul.” – I strive for perfection. I will never get it. We all have flaws. Its just hard to accept. I want control over me and my life.

“Hey, I want to crawl out of my skin.” – Sometimes I just wish I would wake up and look different. Sometimes I’mso embarrassed I wish I was someone else. Sometimes I just hate being me.

“Hey, I can’t make it go away. Over and over in my brain again.” – Thoughts tend to circulate in my mind and I linger on them for too long….eventually I believe them and they don’t go away.

“Oh no, don’t go changing. That’s what you told me from the start.” – Don’t change for anyone. I didn’t. But then I changed after.

“Like you’re so perfect.” – You pissed me off, but you are NOT perfect, my priorities are not wrong and you don’t know me. Stop acting like you do.

“The girl that you want was tearing us apart because she’s everything I’m not.” – That line is so true its beyond belief. You thought I was different, you wanted something different…you wanted a different kind of girl. So you lost this girl.

“I can’t escape myself. So many times I’ve tried.” – I can’t everyday. Some days things catch up with you. That’s life I guess. It sucks but sometime they do. And escape does not help.

“It’s still a little hard to see what’s going on.” – I still don’t know quite what’s happening, but I know it’s a bit better than before…but I also know some parts are worse. So I just don’t know.

“Get up. Come on. Why are you scared?” – I need to get over my fear…and carry on.

“I’ve got a bad feeling its going to be a long ay to happy.” – It takes a while...and I’m still trying.

“Crashing down was my biggest mistake.” – If I’d never fallen, I wouldn’t be writing this.

“Now wait a minute, this is my life.” – That’s all I can say.


That pretty much sums up me right now, and for the last 1 and a half. Also, PINK FLOYD the Wall is a good album to sum life up for me. But almost ever line in that album would be on here and it would take too long. I hope this shows you a bit more about me.

Chelsea. Kat. Tom. Georgi. Jenny. Khaled. Aiden. Murphy. Danial. Tasha. Rachel. Val. Pri. Lou. Caroline. Stefan. Tori. YOU GUYS ROCK. And I love you all. A LOT.

The artists in this are…
Amy Studt. Ashlee Simpson. Avril Lavigne. Billy Talent. Brand New. Coldplay. Damien Rice. Don McLean. Evanescence. Finch. Good Charlotte. Imogen Heep. Jet. Led Zeppelin. Mika. My Chemical Romance. Oasis. Pink. Radiohead. Sandi Thom. Sugarcult. The Veronicas. Three Days Grace.

With my hands held high

Turn my mike up louder I got to say something
Light weights step to the side when we come in

Feel it in your chest the syllables get pumping
People on the street they panic and start running

Words on loose leaf sheet complete coming
I jump in my mind and summon the rhyme, I'm dumping

Healing the blind I promise to let the sun in
Sick of the dark ways we march to the drum and

Jump when they tell us that they wanna see jumping
Fuck that I wanna see some fists pumping

Risk something, take back what's yours
Say something that you know they might attack you for

Cause I'm sick of being treated like I have before
Like it's stupid standing for what I'm standing for

Like this war's really just a different brand of war
Like it doesn't cater the rich and abandon poor

Like they understand you in the back of the jet
When you can't put gas in your tank

These fuckers are laughing their way to the bank and cashing the check
Asking you to have compassion and have some respect

For a leader[?] so nervous in an obvious way
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
In their living room laughing like "what did he say?"

Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen

In my living room watching but I am not laughing
Cause when it gets tense I know what might happen

World is cold the bold men take action
Have to react or get blown into fractions

Ten years old it's something to see
Another kid my age drugged under a jeep

Taken and bound and found later under a tree
I wonder if he had thought the next one could be me

Do you see the soldiers they're out today
They brush the dust from bullet proof vests away

It's ironic at times like this you pray
But a bomb blew the mosque up yesterday

There's bombs in the buses, bikes, roads
Inside your market, your shops, your clothes

My dad he's got a lot of fear I know
But enough pride inside not to let that show

My brother had a book he would hold with pride
A little red cover with a broken spine

On the back, he hand-wrote a quote inside
When the rich wage war it's the poor who die

Meanwhile, the leader[?] just talks away
Stuttering and mumbling for nightly news to replay

And the rest of the world watching at the end of the day
both scared and angry like "what did he say?"

Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen
Amen

With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you

With hands held high into a sky so blue
As the ocean opens up to swallow you



[End]



?

Blame?

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you.

Whats the matter?

I almost fainted again.

Again. Its not my fault...but it is. I can't help it....but i can.

I need to make some changes in my life. Some serious changes. But i said that before...and somehow i always get dragged back in.

At least i've stopped one thing. Just a few more kinks to straighten out right?

They ain't just kinks.

Almost time.

Well, that was interesting.

checklist
pole danced -done
made out with a loser -done
dity danced with the guy your mate likes -done
thrown water at said friend -done
drank too much -done countless times
like a guy but dont know whats going on -done. doing.
hated your parents -done. doing.
knew it was all soon coming to an end- done. doing.
hated yourself -done. doing.
missed home -done. doing.
missed your friends -done. doing.
missed yourself - doing.

I'm such a fuck up. seriously. Everywhere i go i mess things up somehow.

and i dont deserve the friends i have. some of them are there for me and then i fuck it up and they forgive me. the others are hardly ever there.

i deserve neither.

I'm angry.
I'm depressed.
I'm in denial.
I'm sorry.
I'm loved.
I'm hated.
I'm emotional.
I'm over-reacting.
I'm an attention seeker.
I'm NOT.
I'm alone.
I'm misunderstodd.
I'm selfish.
I'm ugly.
I'm fat.
I'm a failure.
I'm stupid.
I'm lost.
I'm repulsive.
I'm NOT.
I'm not me.
I'm me.
I'm unhappy.
I'm happy.
I'm wrong.
I'm right.
I'm alone.
I'm crowded.
I'm lost.
I'm found.
I'm sorry for all the people ive driven away.
I'm not sorry cos you should have stayed.
I'm pissed off.
I'm full of hate.

But there are days when i love life. Days when i hate it. Everyday is different. But at the end of the day...no matter what people say, no matter whether they say im an attention seeker, i know i lost me. Im a wreck. and no matter how i try, i cant seem to find that place. That place to make me me. Its hard. But im trying. Some days i will succeed, some i wont. but every little bit helps right? Yes, im depressed. But im sometimes happy too. Sometimes im faking it, sometimes im not. But when it comes down to it..life is hard. And everybody has problems. So dont-say-mine-aren't-important.

Chelsea. Tom. Kat. Amie. I love you all so much. Thank you.


Switchfoot- Twenty-Four

Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago

Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong

See I'm not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now

And You're raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true

I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause

I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.


Coldplay- The Scientist
Come up to meet you
Tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are.

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart.

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start.

Runnin' in circles
Comin' up tails,
Heads are a science apart.

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard.
Oh, take me back to the start.

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apart.

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart.

Tell me you love me
Come back and hold me
Oh, when I rush to the start

Runnin' in circles
Chasin' tails
Comin' back as we are.

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part.
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard.
I'm goin' back to the start.

It's almost time to say goodbye, goodnight, and i love you.

Redang

Well, today i'm off to redang for discovery week. yay! just got a 12 hour long BUS RIDE to look forward to....OH THE JOY.

....i dont want people to leave. Tash's party was last night and Chelsea had to say goodbye to Tami and i gave her a huge hug and it made me think soon i will have to say goodbye to HER...and i almost cried then. I'm going to be such a mess. Why do people always have to leave?