Im sick and tired of the fights. I sit there at dinner and all they do is fight, about stupid things, its gotten to the point where i just shout shut up, or i just get up from the table and go somewhere else where i cant hear it. Its like flippin world war three.
she was married before. MARRIED and then he killed himself. you dont just tell someone that after 20years of it happening. you either tell them or you DONT. i mean, seriously, married? at the age of 18 too. then he killed himself. all this happened at home, in MY town. and i never knew. WTF. what sort of family is this seriously. and marriage COUNSELING? you dont even tell us that? we have to find out by coming across it on your google history, wtf! aint family meant to be open and share stuff? isnt that the point? oh, but then im forgetting that the only family i have is these 3 people. the people back home might as well not be related to me, i never SEE them so whats the point? i want to go back home and see them, if i cant go during summer cant we at least go for xmas before they die? NO. they dont WANT to. WHY?! what is the flippin reason for it? dont you wnat to see your parents efore anything happens? cos it happens all the time, and they aint exactly young. it just makes no sense, why wouldnt someone want to see their own family? yes, they get annoying and right now i sure as hell cant stand these 3 people, but one of the reasons i dont like them is cos they keep me from the rest of my family. i want to go home. This place may be "home" now but its never going to be MY home. its just a temporary thing they said, yet when i say can we go home, they just say you are home. IM NOT HOME. home is where you can smell the chips being cooked on the market, see your breath at winter, wear a coat and not boil, walk down the road and see someone you know, town is walking distance and you can buy anything you want. i miss it.
and people always leave. always. and before they go, they replace you with other friends, or they just ditch you completely. it hurts. when you need friends the most they go, yes this happened a while ago but i cnat forget that, ever. so many of my friends are leaving, some of them left ME ages ago, and it feels like just me wanting to be friends. Ive been replaced, and it feels crap.
i cant do this anymore. i just cant be bothered. im hungry, but food makes me feel ill. nothing means anything anymore, tv? all the shows are stupid and full of rubbish. books? ive read the same things over and over. and the internet? hardly ever works. and the worst bit is for me, i cant even find the right song to express me right now. Usually, to understand something i find the song and i look at the lyrics and it goes. but, i cant find the song.
she was married before. MARRIED and then he killed himself. you dont just tell someone that after 20years of it happening. you either tell them or you DONT. i mean, seriously, married? at the age of 18 too. then he killed himself. all this happened at home, in MY town. and i never knew. WTF. what sort of family is this seriously. and marriage COUNSELING? you dont even tell us that? we have to find out by coming across it on your google history, wtf! aint family meant to be open and share stuff? isnt that the point? oh, but then im forgetting that the only family i have is these 3 people. the people back home might as well not be related to me, i never SEE them so whats the point? i want to go back home and see them, if i cant go during summer cant we at least go for xmas before they die? NO. they dont WANT to. WHY?! what is the flippin reason for it? dont you wnat to see your parents efore anything happens? cos it happens all the time, and they aint exactly young. it just makes no sense, why wouldnt someone want to see their own family? yes, they get annoying and right now i sure as hell cant stand these 3 people, but one of the reasons i dont like them is cos they keep me from the rest of my family. i want to go home. This place may be "home" now but its never going to be MY home. its just a temporary thing they said, yet when i say can we go home, they just say you are home. IM NOT HOME. home is where you can smell the chips being cooked on the market, see your breath at winter, wear a coat and not boil, walk down the road and see someone you know, town is walking distance and you can buy anything you want. i miss it.
and people always leave. always. and before they go, they replace you with other friends, or they just ditch you completely. it hurts. when you need friends the most they go, yes this happened a while ago but i cnat forget that, ever. so many of my friends are leaving, some of them left ME ages ago, and it feels like just me wanting to be friends. Ive been replaced, and it feels crap.
i cant do this anymore. i just cant be bothered. im hungry, but food makes me feel ill. nothing means anything anymore, tv? all the shows are stupid and full of rubbish. books? ive read the same things over and over. and the internet? hardly ever works. and the worst bit is for me, i cant even find the right song to express me right now. Usually, to understand something i find the song and i look at the lyrics and it goes. but, i cant find the song.
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