Graduation

wow. I've graduated and WOOOO!!!! its a nice feeling knowing i dont EVER have to go back to school again and that its all a choice (and i am choosing to go back...lol) but at the same time its kind of like ohh emm geee IVE FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL OHHH EMMM GEEE..

and then i think ARGH RESULTS ARGH WTFWTHOMGBRBGTGILYIHYIMYBBQ

yea...just like that.

oh well..i shall write more tmr....

In The Flesh
...We came in?
So ya Thought ya Might like to go to the show
To feel the warm thrill of confusion and
That space cadet glow
Tell me is something eluding you sunshine?
Is this not what you expected to see?
If you wanna find out what's behind these cold eyes?
You'll just have to claw your way through the Disguise
LIGHTS!
ROLL THE SOUND EFFECTS!
ACTION!!!

The Thin Ice
Momma loves her baby
And Daddy loves you too
And the sea may look warm to you Babe
And the sky may look blue
Ooooh Babe Ooooh Baby Blue Ooooh Babe
If you should go skating
On the thin ice of modern life
Dragging behind you the silent reproach
Of a million tear stained eyes
Don't be surprised, when a crack in the ice
Appears under your feet
You slip out of your depth and out of your mind
With your fear flowing out behind you
As you claw the thin ice

Another Brick In the Wall 1
Daddy's flown across the ocean
Leaving just a memory
A snap shot in the family album
Daddy what else did you leave for me?
Daddy what d'ya leave behind for me?
All in all it was just a brick in the wall
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall

The Happiest Days Of Our Lives
When we grew up and went to school
There were certain teachers who would
Hurt the children any way they could
By pouring their derision
Upon anything we did
And exposing every weakness
However carefully hidden by the kids
But in the town it was well known
When they got home at night, their fat and
Psychopathic wives would thrash them
Within inches of their lives

Another Brick In The Wall 2
We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey teacher leave them kids alone
All in all it's just another brick in the wall
All in all you're just another brick in the wall
We don't need no education
We don't need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
Teachers leave them kids alone
Hey teacher leave us kids alone
All in all you're just another brick in the wall
All in all you're just another brick in the wall

Mother
Mother do you think they'll drop the bombMother do you think they'll like the song
Mother do you think they'll try to break my balls
Ooooh aah, Mother should I build a wall
Mother should I run for president
Mother should I trust the government
Mother will they put me in the firing line
Ooooh aah, is it just a waste of time
Hush now baby, baby don't you cry
Mama's gonna make all of your
Nightmares come true
Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you
Mama's gonna keep you right here
Under her wing
she won't let you fly but she might let you sing
Mama will keep baby cosy and warm
Ooooh Babe Ooooh Babe Ooooh Babe
Of course Mama's gonna help build the wall
Mother do think she's good enough for me
Mother do think she's dangerous to me
Mother will she tear your little boy apart
Oooh aah, mother will she break my heart
Hush now baby, baby don't you cry
Mama's gonna check out all your girl friends for you
Mama won't let anyone dirty get through
Mama's gonna wait up till you get in
Mama will always find out where
You've been
Mamma's gonna keep baby healthy and clean
Ooooh Babe Ooooh Babe Ooooh Babe
You'll always be a baby to me
Mother, did it need to be so high.

Goodbye Blue sky
Oooooooo ooo ooo ooooh
Did you see the frightened ones
Did you hear the falling bombs
Did you ever wonder
Why we had to run for shelter
When the promise of a brave new world
Unfurled beneath a clear blue sky
Oooooooo ooo ooooo oooh
Did you see the frightened ones
Did you hear the falling bombs
The flames are all long gone
But the pain lingers on
Goodbye blue sky
Goodbye blue sky
Goodbye, Goodbye

Empty Spaces
What shall we use to fill the empty
Spaces where we used to talk
How shall I fill the final places
How shall I complete the wall

i thought it was silent till it went silent.

i can fill the spaces, i can fill the time. But i cant fill the void in my heart.

i feel empty.

He's voluntarily graced to end your life.

BRAND NEW-Limousine (MS Rebridge)

K, here's your ride.
Get your petals out and lay them in the aisle
Pretend your garden grows and that it's your day to wed.
We found your man he's drinking up, he's all-american.
And he'll drive.
He's voluntarily graced to end your life,
He'll tidy up,
It's sad to hope leave your shell to us,
You explode,
You firefly, a tiny boat with all,
Further on the world tilts back and poison pours.
And so, your satellite.You're a tidal wave, you're a big surprise.
And I, one more night to be your mother.

This signal's interrupts,
Maybe it's frequency's not strong enough.
It remade my hands and smile,
We will miss you but in time you'll get set up,
We will rise!

You're so free,
yeah you were right about me,
Can I get myself back from underneath this guilt that will crush me,
And in the choir i saw a sad messiah,
He was bored and tired of my laments,
'said I died for you one time but never again.

(never again)
Well I love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.

(never again)One'll love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.

(never again)Two'll love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.

(never again)Three'll love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.

(never again)Four'll love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.

(never again)Five'll will love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply,
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.

(never again)Six'll I love you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.

(never again)Seven loves you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.

(never again)I said loved you so much, but do me a favor baby don't reply.
Because I can dish it out, but I cant take it.

Family? What family?

Im sick and tired of the fights. I sit there at dinner and all they do is fight, about stupid things, its gotten to the point where i just shout shut up, or i just get up from the table and go somewhere else where i cant hear it. Its like flippin world war three.

she was married before. MARRIED and then he killed himself. you dont just tell someone that after 20years of it happening. you either tell them or you DONT. i mean, seriously, married? at the age of 18 too. then he killed himself. all this happened at home, in MY town. and i never knew. WTF. what sort of family is this seriously. and marriage COUNSELING? you dont even tell us that? we have to find out by coming across it on your google history, wtf! aint family meant to be open and share stuff? isnt that the point? oh, but then im forgetting that the only family i have is these 3 people. the people back home might as well not be related to me, i never SEE them so whats the point? i want to go back home and see them, if i cant go during summer cant we at least go for xmas before they die? NO. they dont WANT to. WHY?! what is the flippin reason for it? dont you wnat to see your parents efore anything happens? cos it happens all the time, and they aint exactly young. it just makes no sense, why wouldnt someone want to see their own family? yes, they get annoying and right now i sure as hell cant stand these 3 people, but one of the reasons i dont like them is cos they keep me from the rest of my family. i want to go home. This place may be "home" now but its never going to be MY home. its just a temporary thing they said, yet when i say can we go home, they just say you are home. IM NOT HOME. home is where you can smell the chips being cooked on the market, see your breath at winter, wear a coat and not boil, walk down the road and see someone you know, town is walking distance and you can buy anything you want. i miss it.

and people always leave. always. and before they go, they replace you with other friends, or they just ditch you completely. it hurts. when you need friends the most they go, yes this happened a while ago but i cnat forget that, ever. so many of my friends are leaving, some of them left ME ages ago, and it feels like just me wanting to be friends. Ive been replaced, and it feels crap.

i cant do this anymore. i just cant be bothered. im hungry, but food makes me feel ill. nothing means anything anymore, tv? all the shows are stupid and full of rubbish. books? ive read the same things over and over. and the internet? hardly ever works. and the worst bit is for me, i cant even find the right song to express me right now. Usually, to understand something i find the song and i look at the lyrics and it goes. but, i cant find the song.

Layout

Well, I found one. I like =)

Of course I like it, otherwise I wouldnt have picked it...duh

My dad got home today from his trip to england, brought back chocolate and CD's. I got Punk Goes Acoustic Volume 2!! yay. And sad sad meaningful movies like Schindlers List and the Diary Of Anne Frank. Yes, i like oldish war movies..its interesting..but also the older movies are so much better than the new ones. New ones are either remakes or sequels, which is honestly very sad.

I miss my mates too. Chelsea. Georgi. Aiden. John. Jen. Lou. Khaled. Antoine. Tasha. Amy. Adam. Ray. Pri. I miss them all!! It sucks and half of them are leaving. =( Its going to be so hard to say goodbye to everyone...especially some of them. I hate it when people leave...and i HATE leaving people. Its the hardest thing to do in the world. And this week has been so hard...what with family, home and world war three continuing at home again. I cant take it anymore. Its too hard.

No.3

Im useless when it comes to deciding names for my blogs....i may be into the arts but i cant always come up with something good.



So, basically, the other day i had to set up a new blog as my old one...well im not entirely sure what happened but i cant sign in and post, but i can still view it....very annoying i tell you lol.



Ok, this blog is generally a place for me to write my thoughts and feelings down in. Im not good with diaries....danial seems to think that a diary would be better as its more personal...but well whatever. Its nice to be able to write stuff down in my own words and when soomeone asks whats wrong i can just say go HERE. yes. Right now im trying to find a nice layout for my blog like my old one..but better. Should be interesting...



In the last week or 2 ive found some very disturbing things out about my family. shant mention here..but...omg...
just..well...freaked me out. its all in the past but still..

and i also found out today that my grandad has some kind of cancer...its some special type and it wont spread which is lucky...but still....cancer.....ah....

ok...um im going to find a layout! Ive got a mission!

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and then there was one

wow. so much for sending amy an email today....i just spent the day being bloody bored and getting pissed off with my internet. fun. lol

well..im now getting ready to go out so will post tmr....

what long posts these have been......

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